My life has been changing lately. There is a transition going on in my home. My oldest offspring are adults. They don’t always act like it, and they still live at home, but they are legally independent of my guardianship. They have graduated high school and moved on from there to pursue work opportunities and higher education. It didn’t immediately feel all that different, maybe because they’re still here physically. But lately, I’m seeing the changes in our relationships, feeling less the need to teach them and admonish them, and more openings to just support them and encourage.
I do not have it all together. I do not know how to parent adult children (is there such a thing?). I try to remember how my mom treated me at this age. It’s so hard to remember a time when she wasn’t just my best friend. I’m learning to be more honest with them. There are things children don’t need to know, things that would harm their sense of security. But with these older ones, I’m starting to be more vulnerable, more open with my faults and my doubts. Maybe if they see me struggling and fighting through it, they will give themselves permission to not be perfect.
I am so grateful for these people in my life.