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I read an article today written by a mother who lost a child.  (disclaimer: I am not attempting to say that losing a child is like going through a divorce)  Her pain resonated with me.  It’s not just the loss, it’s the inability to express the loss.

I am a christian woman, I should not be divorced, but if I’m going to be divorced, I must explain to every person who asks or acts remotely curious that it was his fault (biblically) and that I know God is working it out for my good.

Well, it’s all a big, fat load of crap.  I’ve been divorced for almost ten years now, almost longer than I was married, and I still don’t see how this is good.  Divorce is a horrible, bitter, ripping apart of your soul.  There is no good in it, that’s why Jesus says what he says about it.  There is no going back.

Back to the article with the grieving mother, the truth that she was expressing is that life is beautiful in spite of the pain, and sometimes even because of the pain.  Being a divorced, single mom is not the life I envisioned, not what I would choose for myself.  But it is beautiful.  My life is not possible despite my pain, it is possible because of my pain.  Only the pain of my circumstances brought me low enough to look to him.

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