This life is a vapor. As a kid, I would watch the smoke from my dad’s cigarette. Maybe not a beautiful picture, but I loved the design of the smoke. The way it would curl and twist, working its way upward would fascinate me for probably a longer time frame than was healthy. When the bible talks about life being like a vapor, I see that smoke. It was pretty, unique every time, but very, very brief. I could no sooner reach out and grab hold of that smoke than I could run out to the garden and catch a fairy.
What is with the smoke talk? I am a single mom. I have had many people tell me that God has the right man out there for me. They point out examples of others God has blessed with godly spouses, and tell me to wait on him. I know they mean well, and they are right to an extent, BUT doesn’t that just perpetuate the idea that this life is the important one? It screams of the worldly concept of being happy here and now.
Maybe God wants me to remarry someday, or maybe he doesn’t. The reality of this world is that it focuses on our temporary state, and makes it all important. I made this mistake earlier in my life, which may have contributed to bring me to where I am. My feelings, my happiness, the desires of my flesh are not the reason God allows me to live.
God is not interested in my happiness. He is focused on my holiness. He made me for a purpose, he has many lessons that I can learn only here on this planet. Once I die, there will be no more questions, no more opportunities to take a leap of faith. Every moment of every day is a gift and a time to seek what he would have me learn from it, and how he would have me affect those around me. My focus cannot be on where my next romantic encounter may come from.
I am female, and have a desire for romance in my life, but I believe if I give into that I will be pulled away from where my focus needs to be. And maybe there is some fear involved. If I ever choose to open my life up to a man again, I put myself and my children at risk. I’m not sure it’s worth it.